John Green, Looking for Alaska
The moon was hanging high in the night sky, giving me light to see the way. As I walked into the woods behind my house, to that special place we had gone so many times before. I thought about some of the most important memories we shared here. Midnight talks about anything and everything, the place that you saw my best and worst. I let those moments take me over, an explanation to the reason I did not see him until it was too late. I should have known that he might be here; I did not hesitate to turn and run. I knew before I started that he would catch me, as I felt his hand encircle my arm I slowed. I turned slightly to see the shining green eyes that even now captivated me. The arms that I had found comfort in so many times before. His mouth setting to a smug smirk which reminded me of the moment after our first kiss when I freaked out and wondered immediately what had motivated such affection. Our eyes never leaving each other, the memories that fought to remind me of the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with. The memoires were all I had left. As the days passed all I was left with was a monster who had in many ways brought on peaceful destruction to my life. We had our ups and downs; lately the positive didn’t outweigh the negative. I hated the fact that I ever loved him, giving him the satisfaction of knowing that he once fully held my heart made me dizzy. In the moment no words made their way to my lips. I brushed his hand away from my arm and turned and walked away. Knowing that I would always love that boy, wondering if that would ever be enough. Would fate bring us back together or was the love we shared just a brief and distant memory of the past.
Honestly I am at a cross roads, trying to make a decision. I have truly wondered how some would say mutual respect works. I am tired of giving only to have you continuously show no remorse for the things you do. So with that when you decide that you want to call or write the thought that I have been playing through my mind is will I listen or read anything you have to say. It’s obvious that you have not changed and what will cause that change is unknown. It’s more than obvious that I am not bring anything useful to your life.
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